About-cancer/advanced-cancer/caregivers/self-care/zh

照顧好自己

你的感受

否認

您可能難以接受您的朋友或家人無法康復。 您可能會認為，如果她繼續接受治療，可能最終會起作用，或者會發現新的發現。 充滿希望並沒有錯。 但是，試聽您所愛的人和醫生，以聽聽他們在說什麼。 否認有關癌症的事實可能會使患者感到您並不真正了解正在發生的事情。 同樣，可以按自己的步調處理事情。 但是請注意，這可能會對他人產生影響。

悲痛

悲傷是放手，接受和學習茫然生活的過程。 悲傷過程的一部分是感到極度的悲傷。 您可能會對自己遭受的損失和曾經的生活感到難過。

您可能甚至在親人死亡之前就開始感到失去親人。 這就是預期的悲傷。 對正在經歷的變化和將要遭受的損失感到悲傷是正常的。 引起悲傷的常見原因包括：

• 您可能期望與朋友或家人的生活與您現在所面臨的生活有所不同。

• 您將來可能會對未知的事物感到難過。

• 您可能會為您所愛的人的未來損失以及所涉及的所有變化感到悲傷。

一旦您所愛的人去世，悲傷將變得更加強烈。 每個人在悲傷的方式和對悲傷的追求上都是不同的。 讓自己以自己的方式和時間悲傷。 例如：

• 有些人在悲傷時可能不會表現出與其他人一樣多的情感.

• 其他人則試圖保持忙碌。 他們通過做事而不是談論他們來表達自己的感覺。

• 有些人更經常表現出憤怒。

Understand that these feelings of grief are normal. And grief can come up at times when you're not expecting it. Although it can come and go in intensity, grief can last for many months. If you feel the need, seek help from hospice staff, a mental health expert, or a support group as you go through the grieving process.

For other feelings caregivers may have during cancer care, see Coping with Your Feelings.

It’s emotionally exhausting and I never know what to expect. One minute, things are looking up, and a couple of hours later, something happens and I don’t have any answers.

-Fred

Ask for Help from Others

You may be faced with new challenges and concerns now that your loved one has advanced cancer. If the illness has been going on for a long time, these challenges may wear you down even more. Many caregivers say that, looking back, they took on too much. They wish they had asked for help sooner in sharing tasks or seeking support. Many people probably want to help but don't know what you need or whether you want help. And as the cancer progresses, you may see changes in the support you get from others. For example:

• People who have helped before may not help now.

• Others who have helped before may want to help in new ways.

• People who haven't helped before may start helping.

• Agencies that couldn't help before may offer services now.

Accepting help from others isn't always easy. When tough things happen, some people think they can handle it on their own. But things can get harder as your loved one’s cancer progresses. As a result, many caregivers have said they feel stretched to the point that they can't do it anymore. As simple as it sounds, it's good to remind others that you still need help.

Remember that getting help for yourself can also help your loved one as well as other friends and family.

Keeping a Balance with Visitors

You may have many more people calling you or coming by to visit than ever before. Many caregivers say they feel very blessed when people show they care. But even though you probably are very thankful for their love and support, there may be times when you need some space.

Some days I go into my bedroom closet and take a nap. It may sound crazy, but it’s the only way I feel like I’m really escaping.

-Gail

Some things you can do if you need time to yourself or just with your family are:

• Let your voice mail pick up the messages.

• Answer the phone in shifts. Take turns with family members or friends to be in charge of calls for a few hours.

• Put a sign on the door of your home or hospital room thanking people for coming by and letting them know your loved one is resting. Leave room for a note if they want to write one.

• Have a friend in your home handle visitors while you can be in another part of your home taking care of your own needs.

• Set up a website to keep people up to date and let them leave messages. Examples can be found at Caring BridgeExit Disclaimer or Lotsa Helping HandsExit Disclaimer.

• Go to a place where you can’t be reached for a while.